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Posted by Sandy Weiner in dating after divorce , online dating after 40 , self-esteem in dating 25 comments. Patience is key in dating. Kathy had been dating Larry for three years. Very occasionally, as in one date every six months or so with occasional phone calls and emails in between, usually initiated by Kathy. Most women would have shut the door on Larry a long time ago. Why did Kathy keep in touch with Larry if he showed no signs of obvious interest? Kathy, a 57 year-old tall brunette with short curly hair, liked Larry, because he was a goodhearted man.
He stood out from the other men she was meeting online. She admired his character and felt he could be a good match for her. But the timing was off for him. Timing is a crucial component in the success of a relationship. So, while Kathy was ready for a relationship, Larry was overwhelmed and having trouble making time for himself outside of work and caring for his kids. How could he possibly make time for a relationship with Kathy?
So she stayed in contact with him. And every time she reached out, he told her he appreciated her persistence and patience. Slowly but surely, the relationship began to grow. Very slowly! Larry began to make time for Kathy. They had a few dates in fairly close succession twice in one month! Kathy decided to put her cards on the table. She let Larry know that she cared about him and was ready for a relationship. She wanted to give their relationship a chance to grow and see what develops.
Good move, Kathy! She let Larry know her standards and her intention. She intended to date him exclusively. She told him to take his time and proceed at his own pace. That was music to his ears! And guess what Larry did? He started to date her more regularly. He accompanied her to some important life events, where he met her kids and her parents. He began to call many nights a week. He thanked her for being so patient with him. Your pace may be very different from his. You may feel ready for commitment before he does.
You never know if the timing is just not right for him. And pressuring him would be the absolute wrong thing to do. Quite the opposite: I suggest if you meet a quality guy whose timing is off, continue dating other men and live a full and meaningful life. Be patient. Sometimes things turn around in a surprisingly good way. You never know! I am in this situation now and I am about ready to cut all ties.
I feel that my patience has run thin but this is the man that I want for life! I have to go out with others before I drive myself crazy. I would not recommend this slow pace for most people. No man is worth driving yourself insane. Sandy, I am in a similar situation. We met a couple of times. At this moment, he is very busy with work and is very involved with his younger child.
We have a lot in common and we get along very well, but his mind is full. He is slow, careful and patient. He may not have time and energy for a relationship at this moment.
I always initiate contact. He promptly responds to texts and calls. I am in no hurry. So, I will keep it this way because it is always a pleasure to contact him, and I would love to have a relationship with him. Full life, young child. His focus is not on building a relationship with you.
I encourage you to date other men. Or you can date other men who are ready right now for a relationship. I suggest the latter. Ask yourself this question: If nothing changed a year from now, would you be okay with the way things turned out?
I guess Sandy that I accept this non-situation because I am also not ready for any real relationship. I am protecting myself with someone who is also not available. We both have been deeply hurt. Relationships with people who are not suitable or unavailable is a great strategy. Yes he knows I am going to call. He also knows I have potential. We are going to travel for a fun weekend in September.
We have a very similar background and life experiences. I am a busy person. We are both very patient. We talk a lot about our pains and our problems. We kind of support each other and appreciate each other for that.
It may even be that we should be friends. It would be good enough if we were friends. Sounds like you are self-aware and going in with eyes open. I wish you the best of luck. And I encourage you to maintain your sense of dignity throughout. Hi, I really enjoyed this article and am in a semi-similar situation myself. I have a question, though, about the advice you gave here in the comments to El vs.
what Kathy in the story did. Could you please give your thoughts on that, Sandy? Thank you! I think it can be hard. I think the work will clear up a bit. Which he says he does just stressed. However in my case I broached to my guy, he mentioned to me last week he brings his work home works half hour than takes break.
Want to finish in a year so I get promoted. But it could actually be really beneficial to me to have set concentrated study times for this season in my life. But in this situation, I have stuff of my own I can legitimately do, that will legitimately help me.
Now is the ideal way I would like to have a relationship. No, I want to have fun with him do all kinds of fun stuff. But it sounds like its just this year, and as mentioned in my own schedule, I want to bunker down too. So maybe we can bunker down together…. If you feel cherished, prioritized, cared for, etc. If not, speak about it, and see how he responds. Hello Sandy, I have been dating this guy for about 2 months. The first month was just texting. Every time I contacted him he was working.
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Please read this detailed post before diving into dating apps. Here are some red flag phrases to look out for. OK Cupid: You're going to have sex on the 3rd date. Currently there are over thousand subscribers located all over the globe and at any given time there can be anywhere from to people online browsing the posts. Dating Apps vs.If you lie about age or height right off the bat, what else might you be lying about? el August 23, at PM. Thank you so much for your prompt response. The more photos you post the more harshly you will be judged i. So be patient and give it time. Most photographers are portrait photographers that take corny, reddit online dating patience, staged, stiff, and photoshopped reddit online dating patience that do poorly on dating apps.